At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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