Having a random hookup so left but love u
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
