im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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