ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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