Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
