Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
