Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize