I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
