I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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