Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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