I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize