He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
