i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
