she was so not down for the gang bang
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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