Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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