Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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