sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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