Got a toothbrush?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
