So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
