I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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