there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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