South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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