my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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