i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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