He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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