i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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