You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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