If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
