Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
