you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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