You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
