8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
