I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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