I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
