I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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