just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
