i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
