I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
