He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
