what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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