clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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