you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
