Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Someone signed my nipple.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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