There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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