You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
