When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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