dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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