Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
