Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
