Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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