if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
