I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
time to smoke my breakfast
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
vagina is talking i cant
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
