yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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