I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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