saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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