He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
