he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
