Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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