I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She's the barista slut.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
