His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
