so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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