You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
