I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
