Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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