i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she pinky promised me she was 18
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize