haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
