You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
