i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize