They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm passing your future prison.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize