I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
