WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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